I recently attended a work event centered around entrepreneurial women, giving them the tools, resources, and encouragement to purse their dreams, take risks, and realize their true potential. As I sat and listened to all the amazing women speakers, including the FABULOUS Rachel Hollis who was the keynote speaker for the event, I soon noticed a common theme woven into the event. The theme was “confidence”. A room filled with women of all ages, ranging from early 20’s to a kick ass entrepreneur who was the ripe old age of 90, I would have thought confidence would NOT be a theme. These women were inspiring, courageous, and hustlers, but I soon realized that no matter your age, no matter your profession, education, shape, size, or salary…as women, confidence is an issue. There are many reasons for this, one being social media and comparing ourselves to everyone’s “highlight” reels, but regardless of the underlying root cause, confidence is something we should discuss openly AND work to buildup in ourselves as well as others.
So, as I left the event Sunday morning with a two hour drive ahead of me to Palm Springs, I had plenty of time to reflect on the event, the fantastic women I met, and the many takeaways I learned from two day’s-worth of amazing speakers. As I arrived at my sister’s house, I knew that I once again had to write about confidence. At Trinity, we understand the correlation between clothing and confidence. In fact, researchers have coined the term “enclothed cognition” which is the psychology between clothing and confidence. Every women deserves to feel confident. To hold your head high and unapologetically love everything about yourself. If you’re already there…then fabulous! If you’re not and need a few tips or reminders, then continue reading.
5 Tips to Help Boost Your Confidence
Dress Your Confidence: Yes, you read that right. We all have a special outfit, pair of jeans, heels, or even a favorite lipstick that gives us that extra pep in your step. Whatever your confidence boosting outfit may be, wear it and wear it proudly because if you feel good, you are sure to make others around you feel good about themselves as well.
- Tip – Have a favorite pair of jeans that fit perfectly and they give you a boost of confidence? If so, buy them in various washes and shades and wear them as if they are going out of style. Dress your confidence girl!!
- Positive Self-Talk: Did your mother ever tell you “mind over matter”? Maybe not, but I’m here to tell you that positive self-talk works and is a powerful tool to mastering confidence. It may sound corny but as you’re getting ready in the morning, tell yourself how amazing you are, and that you are going to walk into work with your head held high and are going to be confident in your abilities. Repeat this “I am brave, I am smart, I am beautiful, I am confident and I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to”. You will be amazed at the power of positive self-talk. Make it part of your daily routine to remind yourself how amazing you are and soon confidence will shine like a beam of light from your soul.
- Come Prepared: Ever have that dream that you go into a meeting and forget your presentation? The feeling of panic overcomes your entire body, you begin to sweat, and you feel as if you’re having an out of body experience? No? Okay, maybe that’s just me, but I do know that when I’m unprepared, my confidence suffers. In fact, my entire demeanor changes. Voice, posture, I shake, and get anxious. Don’t sabotage yourself. Bring your “A” game by being prepared. Remember confidence comes from being prepared!
- Embrace Your Authenticity: Simply put, this means “you do you”. Each of us have our own unique and special personality. But many keep it under wraps because we’re too afraid what others may think if we let our “unique flag fly”. If we are all the same, then how boring would this world be? Take the time to reflect internally and allow yourself to be you. Show your authenticity. Show the world how fun and unique you are. Embrace it, own it, and soon you will exude confidence. Why? Because you no longer allow people’s opinion to weigh you down and that my friend, is freeing and pure confidence!
Comparison is the Devil: We live in a day and age of social media. Where everyone (including myself), posts the best pictures. You know what I’m talking about, right? That one picture that was taken at just the “right” angle, with your hair and makeup immaculate. Or the picture of your house, impeccably clean, looking fresh out of Towne & Country magazine, but, this isn’t real. This is "social media real”, but honestly it’s the highlight reel and there isn’t anything REAL about it. This highlight reel can lead us into a trap. A trap of feeling inadequate. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not successful enough, not a good enough mother. The list can go on and on, but we together need to stop the madness. We need to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and stop comparing ourselves with others. I’m here to tell you that my house is cluttered, I do laundry once a week (if I’m lucky), I have body issues, and my car hasn’t been washed in months. No joke, months!!! I’m not perfect and I don’t want to be. I just want to be me…unapologetically me. How can I do this? STOP COMPARING MYSELF TO OTHERS! Once I stop comparing myself to others' highlight reels, I begin to regain my self-confidence. This is how you can learn to feel more confident about yourself, by switching the dialogue to “oh, good for her, she looks great…” and moving on. None of us are perfect, we are all imperfect beings and that’s the way it was intended. Embrace it and….STOP the comparison. You’ll thank me when you do.
- I must thank my amazing colleague Amy who spoke on this very topic at the event I attended. She helped remind me that comparing ourselves to others is unhealthy and detrimental to our self-confidence. Thanks Amy!